If you fail

It is well documented that many people fail to achieve their goals in life due to the phenomenon known as “fear of failure” but are you aware that a major factor that is often overlooked, is a state known as “fear of success”? Many people will fall into inertia as a result of their fear of failing, which prevents them from making decisions or taking action in the event that they are rejected or encounter negative outcomes. This mental state is fairly straightforward to identify, and the personal development industry offers a wide variety of tools to assist in eradicating it and reprogramming the mind for success. However, the fear of success is much more subtle, harder to spot and also harder to eradicate. Perhaps you have this tendency in your life. A mentality of fear of success can be seen in the following ways: Studying and trying to implement self-improvement techniques and/or personal development tools but your life does not improve or may even get worse. You settle for less than you feel you deserve or are capable of achieving. You start new projects full of enthusiasm and optimism but wane in your efforts or stop short before you have completed them. You expect things to go wrong no matter how well the situation appears to be at the moment. Can you see any of your own patterns in the statements above? The fear of success can also make you behave in ways that hold you back. Examine the following list. The fear of success manifests itself in these ways. Procrastination – putting off what needs to be done or not doing what you know will bring you closer to your desired result. Everyone suffers from this inner ‘demon’ at some point in their lives (although some of us suffer from it more than others!). Procrastination is a ‘success killer’! How can ou expect to reach your destinationm if you do not take steps towards it? Strive to do little things each day that will bring you small steps closer to your goal. This is why having a personal development plan is an essential ingredient in the fight against procrastination. Take action! Anything at all! Refine your steps as you go along but do not sit and do nothing. Taking action is one of the key aspects in personal development. Can’t see the forest for the trees! – this is almost the opposite of procrastination but has the same effect on your personal development. Although the aforementioned saying is well-known, have you ever really thought about it? Don't get so caught up in your plan that you think it's more important than achieving your goal! For many years I got caught in this trap. I started to act and think as if my plan was more important than the end result, and as a result, I missed many opportunities to change my course and move faster toward my goals! Let go of your ego and allow the Universe to show you a quicker route to your goal. Remain flexible. Thinking that the time is not right – have you ever waited until the timing was perfect before starting a venture? Have you ever waited until you had more information on a better plan? Again ACTION is the key to the door to success. Better to take a few small steps forward than none at all or to wait to see if your foot is landing correctly! Even if your actions take you away from your goal you have at least gained insight and knowledge about what does not work! Being a perfectionist – this is similar to the point above and has the same effect, namely, that you never really move forward. Even though a job is finished well, it can always be improved! I have heard many great musicians tell how they hate listening to their own songs because they can find a million things that need improved. We still enjoy them, though. Paul Simon's song "Bridge Over Troubled Water," in my opinion, is an excellent illustration of this. This song is hauntingly beautiful yet Mr. Simon does not think its good enough! How do you focus when you only see problems? Do you always see both the issues at hand and all of them? If you are this way inclined it is pointless trying to change overnight! However, you can use this mindset to your advantage while you strive in your personal development to acquire an opportunistic frame of mind instead. "How can you use only seeing problems to benefit me?" you say. “Easily”, is my reply! Examine the issues and devise a strategy for resolving them. Gratitude yourself for overcoming each obstacle. Use them as a gauge for your achievements. If you keep seeing more problems remind yourself of how well you dealt with the others. Look at how far you have come! If you see a problem ask yourself, “how best can I overcome this challenge?” or "how quickly can I resolve this issue?" The quality of your questions are important as I have outlined in a previous article. Make use of the issues as fact-finders. Is there a real issue right now? If so then deal with it. Is it a potential problem? If so then create a contingency plan in case it does occur but don’t get caught up in it just be prepared. If you adhere to the recommendations above and enjoy the journey, you will succeed. You will eventually lose your fear of success, and your personal development will have advanced significantly.

There are three distinct types of phobias, according to psychiatry: Aphobia of open spaces is known as agoraphobia. It's also a fear of having a panic attack in a public place or of losing control in a place where it might be hard or embarrassing to get away. Social Phobia is an irrational anxiety brought forth by exposure to certain social situations, leading to avoidance behaviour. A specific phobia is an unresolved, irrational fear of a particular stimulus that frequently leads to avoidance or withdrawal from that stimulus. It could be triggered by an insect or animal (zoophobia), by a situation like being trapped in an enclosed space (claustrophobia) or it could be a fear of disease (pathophobia). The fear of flying is believed to be widespread, possibly affecting as many as 1 in 5 people to some extent. A lot of the patients have never flown before. Others used to fly confidently until they unwittingly developed fear. Professionally trained pilots aren't immune. Fear of flying is a learned response. The only fear a baby is born with is a fear of loud noises. You eventually developed the fear, perhaps after watching television footage of an air disaster. Maybe you experienced turbulence during a flight, or your plane was in a holding position, circling an airport for an interminably long time, waiting for permission to land and you began to wonder how much fuel was left. There are many who do fly in spite of their fears. They imagine feeling scared ahead of time. They may have sleepless nights thinking about an impending flight sometimes months away. Palpitations, dizziness, nausea, sweating, chest tightness, or hyperventilation are all signs of high anxiety when flying. Being scared because you are imagining being scared is common fear of the fear. Some people will resort to alcohol or sedatives in the hope of calming their anxieties. Eat well before taking off, read something good or listen to music to distract yourself, and avoid alcohol, sugar, and caffeine. Breathing exercises might also be useful.

Five Things You Can Do To Help Deal With The Stress of Long Haul Trips Long-distance journeys by plane, train, or bus can really test a person's ability to deal with travel stress. Have you noticed the number of irate people who travel these days? There are five things you can try to help you cope with traveling on long haul trips so that you are not another statistic of being an irate passenger. #1. Do Not Drink Alcohol The number one cause for people getting stressed during long haul trips is alcohol, in particular with air travel. Even though I enjoy a good drink as much as anyone else, alcohol has a way of turning a perfectly rational person into a maniac. Just take a look at how many airline shows are shown on television with bad behavior. If you are taking a long haul trip on an aircraft, I recommend that you limit your alcohol as when flying at height the affects of alcohol are in fact multiplied. Personally, I discourage all of my staff from drinking whilst flying to avoid travel rage. #2. Make Sure That You Drink Lots Of Water Have you ever had a headache come on? Often this can be because you have not drunk enough water especially when you are working in air-conditioning. Just because you are working or traveling in air-conditioning you can still dehydrate which can cause aches and pains and in particular headaches. By ensuring that you drink lots of water during your trip, it will ensure the aches and pains will not exacerbate your travel stress. I always make sure to bring a small 300 ml bottle of water and a large bottle of water with me on long-haul flights so that I can stay hydrated, especially if the airline charges for water, like some discount airlines do. I carry the 300 ml bottle of water so that you can fill your 1 litre bottle in the bathroom because quite often it will not fit under the tap in the sink in the toilet. #3. Make Sure You Walk Around the Cabin Once An Hour Nobody likes to be cooped up especially in a confined space and your body does not like it. Studies from all over the world indicate that passengers who sit in one position on long-haul flights may be at risk for Deep Vein Thrombosis. Having seen my grandmother go through this disease because she did not do the right thing whilst traveling on a train for 24 hours, I strongly encourage everyone to make sure that each hour you get up and walk the cabin. You can stretch your legs and get blood flowing through your veins by walking, and the exercise also helps you produce alpha waves, or calm waves, in your mind, which will help you beat the travel blues. #4. Listen To Relaxation Music With IPODs and inexpensive CD players, it has never been easier to relax by listening to music. However, a word of warning, you need to choose music that is not going to stimulate stress. Some music isn't really good for stressful situations because it can actually make you feel more stressed. Baroque music is one type of music that has been found to reduce stress, according to research. This music is written so that there are only 60 beats per minute and funnily enough that is what our heart rate should be. The baroque music has been found to increase the alpha waves in the left and right sides of your brain and this helps improve learning ability, creativity and calmness. #5. Meditate Okay, I can now hear, "Oh Yeah Hippy, Want Us to Meditate, Do You Want Us to?" Absolutely! While meditation has certainly been associated with fringe groups in western society or eastern religions, many researchers are now concluding that it can significantly improve our day-to-day lives and assist us in overcoming stress, particularly when traveling. Look, why not try out meditation for just 20 minutes a day. It is a fantastic tool and when you become proficient in the art you will find that moving to a start of calm is really easy. There are a lot of different ways to help you meditate, but we've found that listening to Baroque music helps people get to a place of peace much faster than other types of meditation music. Although there are many different ways to help you meditate, I highly recommend it. The bottom line is this. I have traveled many hundreds of thousands of kilometers across the globe and many people ask me why I travel so well and the simple secret to it is, I follow the five things I outlined before. Apart from that, when dealing with airline staff, if you are not absolutely calm and extremely polite and gracious they could send your baggage to Timbuktu and make you wait a day or two in the airport lounge before they will help you get to where you want to go. Maintaining your composure whilst traveling will also help your health and help you to enjoy your trip. I love going on trips because I get to see the world and all of its wonderful things. Why be stressed when you are there? To finish off this article let me reiterate the five things you can try to reduce your stress when traveling on long haul flights: #1. Do Not Drink Alcohol #2. Make sure you get plenty of water. #3. Make Sure You Walk Around the Cabin Once An Hour #4. Listen To Relaxation Music #5. Meditate

Every one of us has experienced hurt, resentment, or anger at some point in our lives due to the wrongdoing of another. This is a human reaction that comes naturally. However, if we do not resolve or come to terms with these hurts, they drive our actions and create a negative way of life. We have the potential to cause far more harm to ourselves than anyone else by harboring past wounds. Unforgiveness is the root of all disease. Belief of Native Americans Forgiving others or yourself does not mean forgetting or condoning what happened, or giving up the values that were violated or assuming you are at fault; nor is it condemning the other person or seeking justice or compensation. Forgiveness can be viewed as foregoing the resentment or revenge when the wrongdoers action deserves it and giving the gifts of mercy, generosity and love when the wrongdoer does not seem to deserve them. To release the shackles of the past, we must be willing to forgive. Forgiveness is about creating a state for giving both to self and others and excusing a mistake or an offense and letting go of the associated hurt, anger or resentment. Because forgiveness has the greatest benefit to the person doing the forgiving, it is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to yourself. We can move on with our lives and discover new perspectives on ourselves, others, and the world through forgiveness. It gives off energy that can be put to better use in other ways of thinking and doing things.